Fashion Issues

Am I the only one who is bothered by the following fashion trends?

• Big, baggy pants that hang below the butt, often with boxers waving in the breeze? I know this has been a trend for quite some time now. I just don't get it. Whenever I have questioned a devotee of this trend, they tell me it's more comfortable than "rear riders" (or "butt huggers" or "wedgie wear"). I'm not buyin' it. Ever seen one of these fashonistas walking down the street? Either they are clutching onto the waistband or striding with legs wide-apart. Yup, that looks comfortable.
• Sweatpants or sweatshorts with something written across the backside. It started with "BUM" sportswear and has gone downhill since then. All this does is emphasize someones biggest (and in many cases, I mean BIGGEST) asset. Even the tiniest woman looks like she has extra junk in her trunk. This is not a good look.
• Women over the age of 24 with vibrantly colored streaks in their hair. I'm not talking about honey-blond or golden highlights. I'm talking about colors that are not found in nature. Brilliant reds, neon-blues, putrid purples. Wash it out. You look stupid. While we're at it, how about those women who add those copper-ish tones? Copper is not a hair color. It's for pennies.
• Tight, tight, skin-tight tops. Usually these are worn by women who sport fuller figures. Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against women who have a little extra meat on their bones. I just don't like having all that extra falling, rolling or hanging out for everyone to ogle. Then there's the issue of keeping the top in place. I've noticed way too much time spent pulling and tugging. What is the point?
• Crocs. OK, this is where I'm going to get it. Sorry, but those ridiculous-looking rubber shoes should only be worn by... gosh, I can't even think of who should wear them. They are not cute. ...the little buttons that can be purchased to dress them up are not helping. These "shoes" (I use this term lightly) were made for gardening. That's where they belong. Buried in the garden. [I should probably take my own "hit" for wearing Teva sandals (also known as "Jesus sandals). They are ugly, I admit it. I'm addicted to their comfort.]

Gosh, I sound crotchety. Must be getting older.

My Husband's "Mistress"

My husband has a "mistress".

Don's "mistress" crept into our lives during the early years of our marriage, shaking us to the breaking point on many occasions. He has never wanted "her" but despite his efforts, he is unable to get "her" to leave. I have resigned myself to the fact that "she" will be an unwanted part of the rest of our lives.

His "mistress" has created financial hardships. "Her" demands have made it difficult for Don to advance in his career. "She" has pulled him away from work at critical times, diminishing his credibility and impacting his effectiveness. To keep "her" away as much as possible requires us to tap into our household budget regularly, making acquiring savings for vacations, retirement or extras a struggle.

"She" is always on our minds, invading our thoughts and conversations. Don and I have always had honest and often painful discussions about "her" intrusion into our lives. His "mistress" has caused many heated arguments, cruel words and sorrow.

Don's "mistress" has taken him from my bed. He sleeps with "her" every night causing him to toss and turn. Because of "her", Don will often sleep on the couch so as to not disturb me with the restlessness that "she" causes him.

"She" has disrupted vacations. Many times we've had to cancel or reschedule much-needed vacations because "she" needed attention. When we do go away, we are always aware of the limitations that "she" imposes on Don.

Don feels guilty for having this evil "mistress." He never meant to impose "her" on me and he questions why I stay with him through all this turmoil. While I have been pushed to the very edge of despair, the thought of leaving my one true love has never been an option.

Don hates "her". His love and devotion to me are unquestioned. However, "her" ability to wrench him away from me is stronger than our love for each other. And I know, in the end, "she" will ultimately take him away from me.

My husband's "mistress" is his poor health and on-going medical issues.

[Dear family and friends: please forgive me this bitter rant. After coming home from another emergency room trip at 2 in the morning and having to reschedule our vacation to see our new grandbaby, I am hurting. Don is feeling much better, by the way and, thanks to this blog-therapy, so am I.]