Truman's Response

Dear Linda

I just read your blog. Very amusing to YOU, I'm sure. However, have you ever considered how I might like being in your shoes every now and then? Here are my top 5 reasons why I would like to be you:

5. You can talk to your friends anytime you want. If you should meet up with a friend on the street, you can take all the time in the world to catch up while I sit by, patiently waiting. On the other hand, whenever I spy a friend, I am allowed only the briefest of "Hello" sniffs and I am interrupted mid-greeting. How's a fella supposed to score a doggie play date?

4. You don't have to wear embarrassing outfits for "special occasions". I hate that Halloween pumpkin costume and even the fancy bandannas are itchy and drive me crazy. I am the laughing stock of the neighborhood and heard through the grapevine that I have been nominated for "What Not To Wear." I am a dog. Please stop dressing me like a human.

3. You don't have to do stupid tricks to get a cookie. I see you going into the kitchen and stuff a treat into your mouth when you think no one is looking. Did you have to "Speak" or "Roll over" to get it? I think not.

2. You can eat whenever and whatever you wish. Once again food comes into play. This is very important to me, as you well know. I get fed at the same time twice each day and the menu never changes much. How lucky you are to have choices and to be able to eat when you are hungry, not just at certain times. [If you feel at all guilty about this, maybe you could slip me some of tonight's chicken? Aw, come on.]

1. Your bathroom habits are kept private. Once again, I am at your mercy. How would you like someone saying, "Hurry up" when you're trying to do your business? Not only that but, try as I might to walk as far from you as possible (I am modest, you know), you are always standing within leash-length, waiting. Talk about pressure. Can you say "performance anxiety"?

While I am certain that there are many aspects of my life that are enviable, you don't have it so bad, either. I own some great people who love and pamper me. Life is good.

Woof! Truman