In Honor of Our Anniversary

Today Don and I celebrate our 35th wedding anniversary. This year is particularly significant. We faced a couple of potentially life-threatening medical issues that could have prevented us from reaching this milestone. It has made each moment precious and the possibility of not seeing another anniversary very real.

It's hard to believe that we have been together for over 35 years. It seems like just yesterday that I was fresh out of high school and eager to begin a new adult life. It was so exciting to see all the possibilities of a life together laid out before us.

As the years passed, we struggled together to face some difficult, life-changing events: confronting the heartbreak of our infertility and the joy of adopting Kate and Adam, comforting each other in shattering losses of loved ones, seeking normalcy despite some chaotic times.

Others may have crumpled and given up. We are champions. We faced each trial with strength and determination. When one of us felt weak and tired, the other held up.

Our family has never been big on celebrating milestones. Birthdays come and go with cakes and gifts. Beyond that, not much of a fuss. The same with anniversaries. While other families may celebrate with huge gatherings to honor these events, we usually go out for a quiet dinner at one of our favorite places.

This year feels different, however. I want to shout it from the rooftops: "WE MADE IT!"

As we share our traditional intimate dinner tonight, I will once again gaze into the eyes of the 21 year old boy that I married. I will see the possibilities of a life laid out before us and imagine us growing older together.

The Endless Pursuit of a Hobby

Everyone should have a hobby, shouldn't they? Hobbies can broaden your horizons and enhance your life. They can keep you busy, educate you and give you something to talk to others about. I have tried to find a hobby that will keep me interested for more than a few months. Nothing has stuck.

I have tried knitting. This was a lovely, relatively inexpensive hobby that rewarded me with a finished product. I made and gave away several baby blankets and numerous scarfs. The problem I had was that I only knew how to knit and purl and that became mind-numbingly boring. When directions got too complicated, my stitches became sloppy and uneven. Eventually, I ran out of items to make and people to make things for. Honestly, I think the recipients of my hand-made items were relieved when I finally gave up on knitting.

At another point in my life, I took up painting. I equipped myself with oils, temperas, brushes and canvases. I set up an easel and converted the room into my studio. I felt like Picasso, slapping paint on the canvas and standing back to admire my masterpieces. Only problem was that I had very limited talent in this area. I've never taken a lesson and really had no idea what I was supposed to be doing. I painted a couple of landscapes that weren't too embarrassing and gave them away. I actually sold one of my paintings for a minimum bid on eBay. But truth be told, I wasn't very good and was not terribly inspired to continue. I just ran out of steam.

At one time or another I sampled all kinds of domestic hobbies. I have done some gardening, canning, baking breads, sewing and assorted needle crafts. I have tried yoga, running and Tai Bo. Nothing kept my interest for very long.

My latest interest is wine. This hobby sprung from frustration of purchasing a bottle of wine and not liking it. I was tired of forcing myself to finish off a bottle that tasted like rot-gut. What, I wondered, was the problem? So I started with Wine For Dummies. I began to broaden my knowledge base and experiment with different types of wines. I received all kinds of wine books and gifts from well-meaning family and friends that wanted to support my new interest. My husband purchased a 36 bottle custom wine rack for my "collection" (at the time about 6 bottles). For vacations we visited two of the wine regions in NY, tasting and purchasing bottles to add to the wine rack. After all that, I still only know a teeny-tiny bit about wine. I do, however, now know what kinds of wine I don't like (oaky Merlots and Chardonnays).

I am not the only one in my household that latches onto a hobby and then gradually looses interest. Don has build and crashed several gas-powered radio controlled airplanes. He has tried photography, purchasing an expensive camera along with all kinds of lenses. Don has at various times played the guitar, banjo, harmonica and saxophone. His latest acquisition is a Yamaha electric organ with all kinds of bells and whistles. It sits gathering dust.

My latest hobby is blogging. Wonder how much longer this will last?

Non-Smoker's Editorial

I just came back from a day of fun and games at Foxwoods. While I did not return with any extra money in my pockets, I did come back with something: second-hand cigarette smoke. Yuck.

This was our first time at Foxwoods and we were shocked at how poor the ventilation system was. We have gone to Mohegan Sun many times and never experienced that high a level of smoke assault. While we spent most of our time in the non-smoking section, we did have to walk through the smoker areas to get to food and shops. It was really unpleasant.

I have to wonder what makes a person smoke. I know that, as a teenager it's a kind of status-thing, being cool and all. As an adult, there just seems to be no reason whatsoever to smoke. It's smelly, ugly, expensive and can ruin your health.

One of my last memories of my dad is seeing him on his deathbed in the hospital. At the V.A. hospital in those days, patients were allowed to smoke. Here was my dad, dying of throat cancer, a huge hole in his throat. He sat in his bed, smoking. The smoke from the cigarette pouring out through the hole in his throat. I'm sure dad would be very sad if he knew that in that moment, he created such a painful and lasting image.

After a shower and washing my clothes, I can still smell the putrid odor of cigarettes. I have a slightly metallic flavor in my mouth that I can only attribute to the smoke. I can only imagine what the second-hand smoke has done to my lungs.

If you smoke, quit.

I'll get off my soapbox now.

Just a Tourist, After All

I was watching a travel show the other day. It was Anthony Bourdain having an amazing adventure in the remote islands in French Polynesia. Bourdain, a cynical and seasoned traveler, swam with sharks, visited Gaugin's grave site and ate raw sea urchins and snails. He met fun and interesting people and stayed in beautifully rustic settings. Bourdain embraced the new and unexpected with wonder and appreciation.

As I was watching, I kept thinking about just how much I would love to do what he did. Travel the world, experience primitive cultures, eat exotic foods and never knowing what to expect. I envisioned myself packing a backpack with only my essentials, heading off into the great wilderness of some foreign land where I didn't know the language. I would make friends all over the world, be daring and bold and fill up the pages of my passport.

Then reality set in.

Who the heck did I think I was? As much as I love travelling to different places and learning about other cultures, I was no Anthony Bourdain.

Did I really think that I could get away with only a backpack and my bare essentials? When I go on vacation, I usually plan out what I will wear on each day. I do try to mix-and-match outfits but there are conservatively 10 separate outfits for a 7 night stay. I always take at least two bathing suits (one of them for "fat days"), one pair of sneakers, two pair of sandals and a pair of dress heals. Then there's make-up, sunblock, lotions, perfume and hair products. I need to take one daily medication but I also bring Tylenol, sleeping medication, Imodium and Pepto (for those over-indulgent dining experiences). I hate the thought of getting somewhere and not having what I need, so I pack as much as I can. I don't think these "essentials" will fit in a backpack, do you?

Then there's the matter of food. I am not a fussy eater. I have tried ostrich, buffalo, conch, poi, various raw seafood and haggis. Much of this I enjoyed but I do draw the line. On one episode, I watched as Bourdain partook a traditional meal with an Inuit family. They all sat on the floor, surrounding a dead seal. They ripped open the seal and ate the raw meat with their hands. Covered in blood and guts, Bourdain proclaimed the meal delicious. Yuck. No bugs, rats, or raw seal for me. I'll stick to eating establishments where there is some kind of health inspection.

In the past, I have slept in a tent, a camper and on the ground. The first year that I volunteered in Romania, the accommodations were an old school building with cockroaches, fleas and giant slugs. The toilets were "European" (i.e., holes in a cement floor that you did "your business" over hoping to hit the hole). The second time I volunteered in Romania, I slept on the floor of an abandoned building with an old hen house converted into an outhouse. Been there, done that. Prefer clean sheets, plumbing and room service.

For me, the most enjoyable part of travelling is the planning. I spend months online researching every resort, eating establishment, activity and attraction. By the time I arrive, I know more about my destination than many of the locals. I have made reservations and booked tours before leaving home. I plan out a detailed itinerary of every day. I love knowing exactly what to expect. Not exactly bold or adventurous.

Who needs food poisoning or bed bug bites for adventure? I will continue to live vicariously through Anthony Bourdain and others on the Travel Channel but with a new-found appreciation of my own limitations. I love being a tourist!